I should have told you
by powerstaark
Summary: Following the heart breaking and then heart warming event that brought Elsa and Anna back together, Elsa confesses why she hid her magic from Anna in the first place. Story has been updated.


"Your sister is dead!" Hans yelled over the howling blizzard, "Because of you!"

Elsa stared at the prince in horror. She turned and took a few faltering steps but then her legs gave up and she collapsed onto the freezing ice in despair. She had never felt so alone in her life, not even during the thirteen years she spent with minimal human contact. It was like taking all the loneliness, pain, self-loathing and guilt from the last thirteen years and then slamming it all down on top of her in a single, heart shattering moment.

All those agonising and lonely years she spent alone in her room, keeping Anna safe from her icy curse, had only made it more painful for both of them and prolonged the inevitable. Elsa had spent over half of her life supressing her magic, sacrificing her own happiness in the effort to keep Anna alive. Everything she'd done, everything she'd sacrificed, all those times she told Anna to go away, all those times she had subtly and indirectly begged Anna keep herself safe and leave Elsa to deal with her curse alone, had been for nothing.

_Your sister is dead because of you!_ Hans' accusation repeated itself over and over in her mind, drowning her in guilt and grief.

Elsa wished she had told Anna about her curse. She wished she had killed herself years ago. She wished she had frozen her own heart, torn it out with her bare hands and shattered it on the ground. She wished she had done more to protect her poor, innocent, naïve and so hopelessly and unconditionally loving little sister.

Elsa heard a sword being drawn. She realised Hans was going to kill her. She didn't care. Anna had been her only reason for living. Without her, Elsa wanted nothing more than to die.

"NO!"

Elsa looked up just in time to see her beloved little sister throw herself between her and Hans, holding up her hand in a desperate attempt to block the prince's killing strike. Anna's entire body froze and Hans' sword shattered on her outstretched arm, the impact jarring his arm and knocking him off his feet. He toppled backwards and slammed his head on the icy ground, falling unconscious.

"ANNA!" Elsa barely had time to register that Hans had lied to her before she was on her feet and rushed to stand in front of her sister. She stroked Anna's frozen face, "Anna no, no, please, no." Anna's wide eyes stared blindly back at her. By the way the ice was frozen, it looked as though she had been crying.

Elsa broke down and hugged her sister's frozen corpse. She barely noticed Olaf, Kristoff and Sven approach the two of them.

"Anna?" said Olaf in the forlorn hope of getting a response from the ice sculpture. For a long moment there was no sound except Elsa's heart wrenching sobs.

Then Elsa noticed that Anna was getting warmer. Olaf gasped and Sven nudged Kristoff while he stared at the ground. Elsa felt her sister's long red braid tickling her face as if inviting her to look up. She did so as Anna looked down at her.

"Anna!" Elsa stood up and wrapped her arms around her little sister.

"Oh Elsa," Anna whispered as she returned the embrace. Elsa stepped back, holding her hands, something that she had been terrified of doing for thirteen years. She didn't even think about that fear. It had been overwhelmed by her relief and joy and love for her younger sister.

"You sacrificed yourself for me?" Elsa said, unable to believe that Anna would do that after all the pain she had put her through.

"I love you," Anna said simply.

"The act of true love will thaw a frozen heart!" cried Olaf ecstatically. Elsa glanced at the little snowman and a thought struck her.

"Love will thaw," she said thoughtfully, "Love. Of course!" Along with all of her positive emotions, she also felt a flash of irritation with herself for not thinking of this sooner. How could the thought have never occurred to her in thirteen long years?

"Elsa?" asked Anna as her sister stepped back and spread her arms.

"Love!" Elsa said and the snow around them started to rise. Anna gasped in amazement and her sister's love started to thaw the magical winter that her fear had caused.

* * *

It had been a week since Elsa had thawed Arendelle. In that time she had been welcomed back and re-established as Queen. Although not everyone had forgiven her for what she'd done, most of the citizens were happy to have her back. But there was something she needed to confess to Anna. Something she should have told her a long time ago.

Elsa had never knocked on Anna's door, even before their separation. She was scared and wondered if this was how Anna had felt every time she came to try and get Elsa to come out of her room. Elsa took a deep breath and knocked. She knew Anna's knock by heart after hearing it a thousand times before, so she mimicked it. The door opened. Anna's smiling face appeared. Elsa wondered if she would still be smiling after their discussion.

"Hi," Elsa said nervously.

"Hi," Anna said, still smiling. She stepped aside, "Come in." Elsa stepped through the door for the first time in well over a decade. She looked around and went to the bed, then looked back at Anna as if asking for her permission to sit on it. Anna just nodded and Elsa sat down. Her sister sat next to her.

"Anna, there's something I need to tell you. I should have told you this years ago."

"I don't want there to be anymore secrets between us Elsa."

"I know." Elsa paused. She didn't know how to continue. Her parents' years of royal training had never prepared her for this sort of discussion.

"What's wrong?" Anna asked. Elsa hesitated.

"Anna I... I owe you an apology," she said, "For everything."

"Elsa, it's okay," Anna said.

"No! It's not okay!" Elsa snapped, "I shut you out for over a decade! I ruined both of our childhoods!"

"You were just trying to protect me," Anna protested. Somehow Elsa felt herself growing angrier. She didn't want Anna's pity or her forgiveness. She wanted Anna to scream at her, to tell her that she was a terrible sister, to let out all the agony that must have been festering inside for all those years.

"And look how well that turned out!" Elsa cried and tears started to fall down her cheeks. "I just made everything worse! I should have figured it out sooner! Love will thaw! It was so obvious!" Anna put a hand on her shoulder.

"Elsa, calm down," she whispered, "Please!" Elsa looked up and Anna nodded towards the floor. Ice covered the floor. Elsa took a deep breath. The ice remained but it grew slightly warmer.

"I hate myself," Elsa said simply.

"Elsa, don't say that!" Anna gasped, horrified that her sister could say that. And what hurt Anna the most, was that Elsa meant it.

"Why not," Elsa whispered, "It's true. I'm a horrible sister. No, not just a horrible sister; a horrible person. A cursed monster."

"Elsa," Anna said firmly, "Look at me." Elsa did so. She had never seen Anna look so serious. For the first time, Elsa truly realised how much her little sister had grown. It made her feel both proud and sad at the same time. "You're _not_ a monster. And your powers are _not_ a curse. They're a gift. A dangerous gift, but still a gift." She took Elsa's freezing cold hand in her tiny warm one. "I love you, Elsa. Faults and powers and all. And I'm proud to be your sister."

Elsa's anger faded. The ice thawed. Of course Anna loved her. Elsa knew that. If Anna didn't love her she wouldn't have protected her from Hans. If she didn't love her, she would still be an ice statue. But somehow the last week felt surreal. Too good to be true. Elsa had been half convinced it was a dream. But it wasn't. It was reality.

Anna loved her. Even after Elsa had locked her out for thirteen years and frozen her heart, Anna still loved her.

Elsa just wished she could understand why.

"Why do you love me?" Anna looked taken aback.

"How could I not? You're my sister!"

"If I wasn't your sister, would you still love me?" Elsa asked. She expected Anna to hesitate but instead she instantly nodded, to Elsa's astonishment. It took Elsa a moment to recover from her surprise. "Why?"

"Because you're you," said Anna, "You're noble and brave and strong and selfless and you'll do anything for those you care about."

"I think you're describing yourself," Elsa said gloomily.

"No, I'm not," she said, "You're not perfect Elsa, but neither is anyone else. You suffered thirteen years of loneliness and fear to protect everyone from your powers. _Thirteen years_! I thought _I_ had it hard but you… I'm so sorry for what you went through."

"I should have told you about my curse," Elsa mumbled, "Then you would have known how dangerous I am."

"Elsa," Anna said gently, "I've already told you. Your powers are a gift."

"They nearly killed you!" Elsa said, louder than she'd intended. She composed herself and added, almost inaudibly, "Twice."

"Twice?" Anna looked confused. Elsa swallowed.

"You used to know about my… my magic," she began, "We used to use it to play together. Then one night I… I was playing with you and you told me to catch you and you were jumping on snow drifts and going too fast and…"

"Elsa," Anna interrupted gently, "Rambling's my job remember?"

Elsa managed to give her a tiny smile. She continued more slowly.

"You fell and I tried to catch you but… I hit you in the head and nearly killed you. We took you to the trolls and they healed you, but they wiped your memory so you couldn't remember that I have powers. Mama and Papa thought it was best if you didn't know what I am, so they split us up and told me that I had to hide my powers and stay away from you. They thought it would keep you safe. I thought so too."

Anna was unusually quiet.

"The trolls wiped my memory, and Mama and Papa split us up?" she asked quietly. Her voice was calm yet dark at the same time. Elsa began to feel nervous but she nodded. Anna was silent, turning over this information inside her head, "I knew it. I knew that dream about the troll wasn't a dream. I should have recognised Pabbie sooner. Stupid little boulder! How could he erase my memory? And how could our parents allow him to do so? And then spend thirteen years abusing you?"

"Anna, they weren't..." Elsa began but she stopped when Anna exploded.

"I HATE THEM!" she screamed so loudly that Elsa actually jumped back, bruising her shoulder on the bed post, "How could they do that? How could they make me forget that my own sister has a beautiful gift? How could they lock you away for all those years? They're the worst parents in the world!"

"Anna don't say that!" Elsa interrupted.

"Why not!" Anna roared, "They ruined our childhood! They made us lonely and they made you hide who you are! They locked you away as though you were an animal! I'm glad they're dead!" Elsa stared at her in shock. Anna was crying with rage. Elsa gave her a moment to calm down.

"Anna, they were trying to protect you. They knew I was dangerous," Elsa said quietly.

"You're only dangerous when you try to hide who you are or when you're upset or angry," Anna replied, more calmly than before but she was still crying, "If you had never been forced to hide your gift, none of this would have happened. It's Mother and Father's fault."

What hurt Elsa the most was that it was clear that Anna truly believed that their parents were to blame. Anna loved Elsa too much to blame her but she had still built up thirteen years of pain and resentment and she had to direct it somewhere.

"No Anna it's my fault…" Elsa began.

"Why?" asked Anna, "Because you were born with magic? Elsa that's what makes you who you are. Our parents had no right to try and take that from you. And neither did the trolls. I'm going to kick Pabbie into a river the next time I visit them!" She clenched her fists.

"Kristoff wouldn't like that," Elsa pointed out.

"I don't care," Anna responded. She wiped her eyes and looked at her sister. Neither of them knew what to say. Finally Anna wrapped her arms around her sister. Elsa hesitantly hugged her back.

"You don't really hate Mama and Papa do you?" asked Elsa.

"No," Anna admitted, "But it _is_ their fault that all of this happened. I love them. But I'll never forgive them."

Elsa remained silent. Now that Anna had said it aloud, she realised that she was right. Their parents had been abusive. They never meant to be and it was so subtle that even Elsa hadn't realised it, but it was true.

How could Anna, a girl who was willing to marry the first man she met, have realised how much damage their parents had done before Elsa realised it?

Anna looked up at her sister. Elsa pushed away her thoughts and focussed on Anna. The only person who truly made an effort to _help_ Elsa instead of holding her back. The only person who tried to understand her, who was willing to look past her flaws and love her for who she truly was.

The only person that Elsa was absolutely certain that she loved.

"I love you Elsa," Anna whispered, "More than anything. I don't want us to ever be separated again." Elsa kissed Anna's forehead and held her close.

"I love you too."

**I've been through most of the Frozen section on this site, picking out stories of Elsa and Anna's relationship. I know this has been done before but I needed to write my own version of it. Frozen has become my favourite movie, surpassing even Avatar. Elsa is a brilliant character and the sexiest Disney female since Jasmine and Esmeralda. The relationship between her and Anna is the most beautiful bond between siblings that I've ever seen in my life, and I have three siblings myself.**

**Anyone who interprets this as a romantic bond between Elsa and Anna is sick in the head. Seriously why is sexual Elsanna so popular? Elsa and Anna are both beautiful and I have nothing against lesbians, but they're sisters for gods sake! I have a messed up mind myself, but incest is going too far.**


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